Window of Tolerance
Ever heard of the Window of Tolerance? We all have one.
Do you understand what that means? Hopefully this information will help.
This image breaks down exactly what the Window of Tolerance is in very simple terms.
It is an emotional state where we are able to think clearly and make rational decisions. We are still able to access our Wise Mind, even if we are struggling with some difficult emotions at the time.
When we are outside of our window of tolerance, our prefrontal cortex starts to go offline. At this point, you are ruled by emotions and no longer able to access wise mind, or make rational decisions. Every thing you say, do, and decide is driven by emotion.
We all have times we end up outside of our Window of Tolerance. When this happens, we cannot be reasoned with. We are not in a rational state of mind. This is true for both children and adults. Think of a child in complete meltdown. Yelling at them will not help them calm down. And lecturing them on what they did (or are doing) wrong will fall on deaf ears. Truly, they will not hear you at all. They can't. During this time, they are in survival mode. Just trying to regain control of their emotions and world around them. To regain access to their Window of Tolerance.
So what can we do in that minute for that individual or ourselves? First and Foremost we need to calm the nervous system. We can calm our own through deep breathing and mindfulness exercises. We can also help others by co-regulating their nervous systems. This is a bit harder, as we need to ensure we are not spiraling out of control due to them being out of their Window of Tolerance. We have to have strong skills to remain calm and keep our nervous systems calm when this is happening. From there, we can encourage the other person to breathe with us. Even talk them through some Mindfulness exercises. Not sure how to do this exactly? Reach out. We here at Blue Rose Child & Family can help teach you these skills.
So what can we do to widen our Window? Mindfulness exercises, Emotional Regulation, and Distress Tolerance all help with this. Needing some guidance on these skills? Reach out. Blue Rose Child & Family offers a FREE weekly class where we not only learn these skills, we also work in implementing them in the real world because just knowing something on paper is not effective in your day to day life.